Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Well, show me the way to the next whiskey bar ... oh don't ask why

My room!!! My room !!!! ... sob .... sob ... sob ... I lost it . Its being renovated and I had to clear it up. Will be getting a swanky new one (being built on the terrace) but I lost my own room.. Everything is cleared from in there. It fucking echoes in there like its a bloody graveyard. I can hear my room's soul calling out to me "Don't leave me!!!".

Lots of memories there. I never thought I would be sentimental about it. Its just 10 by 10 God damn place surrounded by blue walls ... but it was mine. My space ... my retreat ... and now its like a pile of debris like war-torn Baghdad. I asked my girl friend out in that very room and we've been going out for 6 years now. I remember playing cricket, football, wrestling, hand tennis... (pretty much any sport that you can think of) with my cousins in that room. I remember looking out the window in the dark reminiscing ... contemplating the future... feeling lonely... I never knew that room meant so much to me and now that its gone I miss it soooooooooooo much.

I remember coming back from a 2 week trip in Europe and the thing I missed most is my loo and my room. My loo was like my ultimate sanctuary. Read many a book on the pot... relaxed that weary body after a good swim or basketball under the shower ... that shower just kicked butt.

All I can say now is RIP to my room. I miss you .... I always will

P.S : Sorry about the girly post.... but its just .... MY ROOM ... MY ROOM... sob .... sob ... sob...

Monday, December 05, 2005

Sing a song of six pence...

I love the fact that our culture is so deeply into music. Every occasion has a song associated to with it and every region has their own style of music. I really love this about Indians... but what I don't get is the fact that Indians are obsessed with making other people sing.

Everytime you are on the radio, in a party, in any kind of spotlight people want you to sing...
"Sir, one song sir"
"Sir, please sir"
"Sir, one stanza sir"
"Sir, come on, sir"
"Sir, one line, sir"
"Sir sir please"
"Sir one note .... you start and we'll all join you"

How many Indians haven't faced this kind of predicament before??!!! I mean, come on, some people don't want to sing people ( and most can't... yours truly heads that list ;)). I couldn't sing to save my life... and I wouldn't sing to save the little bit of self-respect I still enjoy.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

If I fall along the way, pick me up and dust me off...

Its amazing what failure does to you. It makes you feel defeated and gloomy on a nice sunny Sunday morning. It makes you feel vulnerable. Its like you are put in the spotlight and people are walking past you pointing fingers at you ... with that evil smirk on their face.

But life goes on... you lift yourself up and move on. And trust me, I've done it a lot of times (tells you how many times I've failed ;)). The eternal optimist that I am, I've learned to convince (or lie - as you like it) myself that it'll all be fine and there is something for me around that corner. But the corner never seems to come around. I guess I'm moving around in circles.

When I was a kid, I played a lot of sport. And everytime I started a sport I used to think "This is it... this is my sport and I'm going to be the next big thing in the sport". Alas... it never was to be. And I am still here waiting for my turn ... for that corner... when I will actually be that next big thing... mera number kab aayega

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

That'll be a 34 B for me

College days were fun we were a gang of six - three guys, three gals. Unfortunately for me, the two guys left Bangalore. Nirav is pursuing his masters in the US and Siddhu working in Chennai. That leaves me and the three girls- Mim, Shash and Antara.

Now that its just us, I have the unfortunate honour of being their unpaid chauffeur (they affectionately call me Raju when I am driving them around). When we hang out, I'm sure there are guys going - "Oh! what a lucky guy. He is hanging out with three pretty chics". Well not!!!! They are great fun and we laugh a lot I must admit... but when the conversation drifts into intricate discussions of the beautiful kaatha work on their sarees, the amazing jewellery they bought or other girly problems. I just have to go looking for my .22 caliber pistol but alas, where are things when you really need them. Surrounded by so much girl talk I sometimes wonder if I'll wake up with boobs one day and worry about getting my legs done.

I do not get why women love shopping so much. They are just crazy about it. I mean when they enter a sale or a shop... its like they are in a trance. They can just block the rest of the world as if nothing really matters. Its like Neo in the last scene of Matrix... when he starts seeing everything as characters rolling down the screen and only he can make sense of it. I mean come on, how can looking at the same thing in different shades and patterns be interesting. Oh please... I need some help here. For me, women shopping is like guys watching TV. We know we want to be there but once we get there we don't know what we want. Thats why we go channel surfing and women go pattern/shades surfing.


Oh man!! I got my iPod nano yesterday. Man is she beautful or what !!! You cannot possibly comprehend the tininess of the thing till you've seen it. The sound quality is brilliant. And click wheel ... baby... baby.. drool.. drool... I'm loving it!!!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

I'm alright, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack

Once you start working, you get these fucking senti mails explaining how people think things have changed since college.... and how its been one year since we wrote exams and bunked and what ever... Oh for fuck's sake stop it!!!! Things change and they always will so get up and move on buster.

But there is one thing that'll change drastically after you start working.. and thats MONEY. Yeah baby !!! the moolah ... its brilliant isn't it??? The smell of the crisp bank statement that rolls off the ATM and tells you you are a little richer at the end of each month... and for what ... for pretty much sitting on your ass all day. I know I sometimes think I was a lot happier without it... but who the fuck am I kiddin.

Money is a brilliant concept... I mean its so beautiful... its powerful ... yet its dark and plays its little games on us. Money is mostly about the power. The power of independence and a little stability. And thats where the concept of "value for money kicks in".

The concept is very dicey. For me.... the value for money is more about how much a person needs money that defines the concept. When one of my friends asks me for money ... I ask myself only one question - Does he/she need the more money more than I do?

Shakespere rightly put it "the greed for money is the root of all evil"..... I hate it when ppl switch jobs for money... I hate calculative, money minded people... Look at the labourer who toils all day and hardly gets anything at the end of it.... We comparitively lead luxurious lives. And yet, when we hear of a money making opportunity at the cost of someone else we will jump at it. All our morals lost and only the extra dough becomes our motivation. Money is amazing no doubt... but its not the be all and end all of life...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Albeit its arbit....

My apologies for saying the Colplay album sucks on Nitish's blog. Its not a "great" for sure. But some of the songs are quite beautiful. Speed of sound, fix you...... swallowed by the sea is really amazing. I'm in love with the song.




This Ganguly and Chappell thing man... I can't get over it. I know the "cricket is going to be the loser " is the cliche doing the rounds. But consider the three scenarios :

1. Ganguly thrown out - The team is going to be divided. Team spirit fractured.

2. Chappell thrown out - Same as above.

3. A truce - Come on who are we kidding.




Am I glad Seinfeld is back or what.... The guy and Larry David are geniuses. I can't relate to any of the characters but there is just something about the show. How would have thought that a show about "nothing" could be so brilliant.



My girlfriend had a niece last week. Her nick name is Rai ( which means Radha.. I love the name). She is prettiest thing .... she has beautiful big eyes, long arty-types fingers and tiny little toes. Man its amazing .... how such a small thing can bring you so much happiness. I now know what they mean by your bundle of joy. She reminds me of my sis.. when she was a baby.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Allah ke naam pe de de baba

The sign of any city growing up is the corporatization of all the sectors in the city. Big cities like Mumbai and New York are known to have a well organised underworld and mafia organisations.

I am not too sure about Bangalore's underworld but the begging scene in Bangalore is witnessing a radical change. The beggars have gotten a lot more organised. They are well dispersed at the traffic signal and try not to interfere in each others business (And obviously, the huge traffice jams at these signals help their cause). They choose their clients a lot more carefully and a lot more study. They pick their victim's weakness a lot better. If you are well dressed they start touching you because most of these people don't like it.

There has been a drastic improvement in the presentation aspect of it, too. There are shows put up (acrobatics), there is costume and colour (kids dressed as Hanuman). The beggars are a lot more persuasive nowadays. They don't let go of their clients that easily.

Ironically, begging seems have to become a capitalist venture. And like a lot of other capitalistis ventures, they are getting ugly too. The kids doing the acrobatics are surely beaten up when they are "trained". Infants are given on rent for a day to gather that extra sympathy. And the way these corporatized beggars hound you, the unorganized sector of the beggars definitely loose out. Its like your grocer round the corner shutting down because of the super market on the main road.

Friday, September 23, 2005

All out ... all lost

"I can tell you that before this match I was asked to step down as captain," Ganguly told reporters. "So it was an extra determination that I found."

Yeah right!!!! A 100 against a second string Zimbabwean side ( like they were not bad enough already) on a batsmen friendly track in 263 balls... do you really need determination for this esp. if you are a batsmen with 5000 runs in test cricket. I mean come on... what is the dude thinking or is he thinking at all. Get over that goddamn ego of yours and move on. The team and the sport is bigger than you.

I had the utmost respect for Ganguly, the things he has done for this team is unbelievable. We have gone from a team who would just bend over to a better opponent to going out there and showing them what we got. But things change and people got to move on. Mark Taylor did and so did Steve Waugh.

Chappell ... hats off to you dude. You said something this cricket-crazy nation has been dying to hear. And all the veterans backing Ganguly - go shove it. First Ganguly doesn't perform... then he makes a private discussion public ( I think to gather sympathy) . God it sickens me.

And don't even get me started about the board. What happened to the good old days, when cricket was about the sport and not cheap politics. How many times and these going to raise objsections ... get stay orders.... its pitiful.

Give the people what they want.

Hope lies in the proles.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Freak a what???!!!!

Read this book called "Freakanomics". Its basically 2 economists gone crazy. They investigate absolutely anything under the sun. They play with numbers like it were child's play and make"conventional wisdom" look like Ganguly playing a short ball ( for the lesser mortals that was a metaphor for FOOLISH).

Their research is brilliant. The chapter comparing school teachers and sumo wrestlers is very interesting. They go on to compare McDonalds and drug runners, how both of them have a similar corporate structure. The most intereseting is how they compare the birth of nylon and crack cocaine.

Its a quick read, very interesting and quite funny. For idiots like me who thought economics and economists were boring the book is a definite eye opener. I wanted to become an economist after I read the book. Not quite actually.

Anyway, you could check out the author's blog at http://www.freakonomics.com/blog.php



Time's website had this top 100 sites some time back. I stumbled upon this blog by Heather Armstrong.... too funny man. Check it out at http://dooce.com/

Monday, September 12, 2005

IS "Kiss my ass" CON !!!!!!

Every year on my dad's birthday we go to ISCKON (yes yes!!! the Krishna conciousness shit). Each year that I go there I hate the place all the more. By the way, let me clear my stand before I continue- I do believe in God.

What is my idea of God? God is an abstract idea of hope. He/She is a different kind of hope of everyone for some its about the hope for money, for some about health, for some about knowledge and so on and so forth. Thats probably why we Indians have so many Gods - a different personification for a different hope.

What is my idea of a temple? The idea of a temple is basically a haven for spiritualism. Its a place where like minded can open up their minds and discuss life, love, God and the other life's wonderous things that mystify them. Do you see this in any temple??? Now its just some place where you keep freakin idols and break coconuts.I mean people since the 13th century have been saying that this was f***** up and these dumasses still don't get it. Tragically for me, I feel like I'm in a temple only when I am in a bar/pub when I'm blown out of my mind and a random comment by one of my friends sparks off debates and discussions. I know it sounds pathetic, the whole sanctity of a temple and spirituality are lost but.....

Why do I hate ISCKON? First, the damn place does not encompass my idea of a temple.... actually it doesn't even come close. Its just a corrupt place out to propogate its fucked up ideas and fleece all the fools who are willing to pay up. I don't get how a temple can segregate "devotees" based on how much donation they pay. And I am not saying this because I didn't get to see the freakin idol. My family always get to stand on the first row and get a beautiful view of the freak show those guys put on for us. Secondly, I don't get the propaganda that these guys are always putting up. For me, propoganda is only for wannabes and celebrities... someone who is insecure. Thirdly, I don't get the principle of their freakin cult. After thousands of years of stories and mythology being passed on for generations, this dude comes along and turns the whole thing around. And the worst of all, people go crazy about it. Pissin off man.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Shantaram - man of peace

Just finished reading this book called Shantaram. Its a fictionalised account of an Aussie convict who breaks out of prison and comes to India. He starts a new life in India, gets new friends, a new job. He lives in the slums of Bombay for a while and starts a clinic to help people out there. He falls in love with a German woman called Karla. And in the process of helping her lands up in prison.... gets into the mafia after that and even goes to Afghanistan to fight the war with the mujhahideens.

The characters are beautifully painted. His friend Prabhakar is one such and you fall instantly in love with him. He gives the protoganist his Indianised name - LinBaba. He goes onto live in Prabhakar's village for 6 months and is adopted by Prabhu's mother; who gives him the name "Shantaram" which means man of peace.

Karla is his love interest whose witty one liners and comments are thought provoking. Abdullah is also one of his friends who is painted as one of those cool dude gangsters. Abdul Khader Khan is like his mentor and his father figure. Didier is another guy I found really interesting. He is French, Jewish, gay "not necessarily in that order"... but the guy is too wierd and funny.

The book has a very philosophical angle to it every time Lin thinks about his past or the discussions he has with Abdul Khader Khan. Although I didn;t agree with all the theories put out in the book, it definitely gets you thinking about life its purpose, where we are from and why we are here, so on and so forth.

One of the best things I liked about the book is the outsider's view of India. Karla says something like the only you can know the real India is when you surrender to it. I just found it so true. I mean you can be an observer of India and everything looks so chaotic. The way we lead our lives, the relationships we enjoy, the way we construct our buildings even. But India is not about that. Its not about sitting in the stands and wonder whats happening. Its about getting down in the ballpark and playing along. Thats the only way you can ever know what India is about, why we are so emotional or attached, understand our culture, history, problems.

All in all, I loved the book. Definitely worth a read.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

VH1

I love this VH1 channel. They play some really good stuff. Their Classic programme is really good. And their other programmes like the fabulous life makes a good viewing esp. for gossip hungry ppl like me ;).

I saw some real good videos this weekend they were playing. The Killers song Mr. Brightside is brilliant. It somehow feels like pure good ol' rock and roll. And the Ben Affleck look-alike lead singer has the "it" factor. I just love the song.

I saw this video by this group called the Magic Numbers called foerever lost. It is an animated video. Really good music. Very pleasant kindda like Fleetwood Mac.

The new UB40 song is also really cool. Its called Reasons. Its obviously reggae stuff but has Punjabi beats in the middle. Its sounds fresh and good. I dont think its been done before- reggae and bhangra.

P.S:I still can't get over the Zeher song . I have to listen to everyday. I never thought I would like a remixed song so much.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

The offset theory

Theorem : Women can afford to have larger paunches than men before it getting noticed.

Proof : Women get this undue advantage because of their breasts which gives them a certain "offset". Due to this offset, you will not notice a woman's paunch as long as, it is not protruding out more than her breasts. Thus, women can have larger paunches than men before they get noticed.

Hence, proved.

Corollary 1: Women with bigger breasts can afford to have bigger paunches.

Corollary 2: Women with smaller breasts .... tough luck.

Personal Note : Unfair.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Bekaari ki samasya

Its going to be a year this month end since I started "working". Actually, if you ask me personally, I dont what the fuck I'm doing here. I've been pretty much idling since my training ended in October. I dont know if I started on the wrong foot, but I don't see myself doing this for the rest of my life(Obviously, no one wants to sit idle for the rest of their lives). But now that I have been sitting jobless for so long... I hate my job all the more and it sometimes scares me that I may not be able to work anymore with the kind of zeal I once enjoyed or fulfil my potential (atleast I think I have some).

I want to do something else with my life. I think I know what I want to do. I have started working towards it... but will it actually happen??? will I like it when I get there??? only time will tell. I guess its worth the shot.

On the other hand, the things that I have gained from this last year are mostly in terms of the people I've gotten to know. I've made some great friends. Met people from different backgrounds, different problems and when they share their problems and anxieties with me, it makes me look at life differently. I guess this has given me a broader perspective to life and I think has made me a better person. I can only hope for the best for them.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I saw God this Sunday

What makes sportsmen Gods?? There are great sportsmen and there are champions and then there are the Gods .... who pretty much every kid, who ran around in the park, aspires to be.

Anyone who saw Roger Federer's demolition of Andy Roddick this Sunday, will probably have a better idea of what I am trying to say. According to me, what makes sportsmen Gods is the fact that they can make look their sport look easy and their opponents a joke. I mean you look at Federer play and he makes tennis look so easy, you then pick up a racquet; for starters, try to put your serve in the other side of the court, only to realise how very difficult it is. You watch Ronaldinho curve the ball in to the back of the net ( The one against Chelsea at Stamford bridge in this years Champions league quarters is one of my all time favourites) and you try to mimic him and after hours of failure, you would be grateful to God if you could even put the ball at the back of the net, let alone curving the ball. Or for that matter try a Sachin six ( like the one he hit against Pak in the world cup'03).

Everyone loves competition and a good exciting game, but then someone like Federer comes along, makes minced meat of his opponents in no time but you still want to watch him inspite of the match being lop sided just because of his grace and his command over the game. I mean when these guys get on the field they capture your imagination, genuinely make you happy when you watch them play and you wouldn't mind skipping a lunch to pay for your ticket to watch these guys.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Shits man!!!!

Why is that the act of excretion (or "taking a dump" as it is more affectionately called) so repulsive?

For me the act of excretion is the single largest failure of evolution. The whole act is so disgusting ... taking off your pants, the stench, the loos, and all the other paraphernalia. I mean why couldn't all the metabolic wastes in your body just vapourise to emit a fragrance so as to attract one's mate.

The words attached to "the act" are not spared either... crap, shit, piss, etc.,etc. I mean whats wrong with "pee" its such a sweet sounding word but its usage rather detestable.

Why couldn't we just shed our skin once in 6 months in order to "excrete". That would be cool wouldn't it??!!! Imagine a new skin twice every year. That would surely turn heads if you announced in a crowded room "I'm going to excrete"!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Everyone is a George

George scared... of George
Guilt seems to be have become a constant companion of George
George hate George
George want me to become the George he want me to become ...
will he become the George I want him to become
This George love that George .... a lot
George has lots of friends .... but George very lonely
George confused
George want to cry
George want to go to jungle

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The Mahatma

In the latter part of 1910s a frail looking Indian returned to India from South Africa with a will to fight for his people and beliefs. A will strong enough to make the strongest monarch in the world tremble and finally succumb.

Gandhi, for me, was the greatest and the most true leader India has seen (I'll try to explain my conviction as we move along). I can't remember anyone bringing the crowds of India, rich or poor, Hindu or Muslim, North Indian or South Indian, higher caste or an untouchable, together. He amalgamated the masses to one strong force called India (tragically, it was probably the last time the whole nation felt that way). He was the prophet who was going to lead India to their Promised land. India's very own Moses. He saw the power of Indian people, their diversity, their culture.

Gandhi had a dream bigger the country and its cause. Gandhi wanted to change the world. In a world caught in strife, violence, torn down by two massive wars heading for a nuclear war, Gandhi was the world's apostle. His message simple : truth and non-violence. Non-violence???!!! Why would someone do that? How can you try and deter the mother of all empires by non-violence ??? Ridiculous as it seems, it was India's best answer. Lets and try analyze for a little bit. Most countries who have got their independence through violent means continue to be rooted in violence. Most countries who have resorted to violence have either been thoroughly devastated, ruled by a dictator after independence or have plunged into civil war. India's condition around the time of independence was very precarious. There were riots breaking out in villages all over the country almost everyday. Hindus and Muslims slayed each other for no apparent house ( once in Punjab a Muslim's buffalo wandered into a Hindu's farm, and the resulting fight left hundreds in the village dead), women were raped, houses gutted, children orphaned. Civil war seemed inevitable. I'm quite sure India would have plunged into civil war and squandered the 90 years struggle if it wasn't for the message of peace from the Mahatma(great soul). Of course, there were riots inspite of Gandhi's message. He went from village to village trying to bring peace among the religious leaders of the village, he went on fasts unto death until the riots had stopped. Gandhi was probably the first person in modern history who sincerely wanted to make the world a better place to live in.

Gandhi had a vision beyond the freedom struggle. He wanted India to be self sufficient and its people to live in dignity. Gandhi knew that India's power lies in its villages. This is quite obvious considering around 70% of India's population lived in villages. But somehow, no one seemed to recognise it. They were just the abused lot of India and even today are. He fought for the untouchables. He gave them the title Harijan (God's children). He wanted to improve the sanitation habits and conditions of India. Its a pity that even after 57 years of his death the sanitation conditions and habits of Indians is appalling. He starting spinning his own cotton and insisted that his followers to do it too. He wanted to promote Indianness and self reliance. On the other hand, he wanted India to become an industrialist power house but in an Indian way and not by aping the west. It was the Nehru's socialist and Marxist outlook and Indira Gandhi's license Raj that hindered his vision.

The one thing that I don't agree with Gandhi was that with all his time and energy spent on the cause of the country he neglected his family and tried to impose his ideals on them. His eldest son turned into a drunk and was only close to his youngest son. When his wife was on her deathbed and could be saved by an injection, he did not give the doctor permission to inject his wife with the life saver as he thought it was an act of violence.

Its a pity that in the land of the man that gave the world hope and direction, he is looked upon and remembered with scorn by some of the youth. Gandhi has been the greatest leader the Indian motherland has seen since probably Akbar and God knows how long she will have to wait for another son of hers to show the disillusioned masses the way to glory and righteousness. Gandhi was truly a MAHATMA.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Whats in a name

The other day I was just thinking of the Beckhams naming their kid Paris because the kid was conceived there. I doubt if such a thing would ever happen in India. I mean can you imagine naming your kid "Gangtok" because you decided your sperm finally needed to contribute to the noble cause of procreation in place some 2000 metres above sea level or "Gulbarga" because you got all horny in the plus 40 degree C temperatures of north Karnataka. I mean such a kid would have a childhood tormented enough to grow up and write a best selling auto-biography.

Talking of names of places and sexual activity, I think there is a reason for a boom in the sex industry in Thailand. What else could you imagine would be the occupation of people living in Bangkok ( bang cock) or Phuket ( ideally pronounced f*** it).