Dhoom : 2 (Read Dhoom colon 2)

Imagine the most mindless piece of crap you have ever heard or seen ... triple that and you will approximately figure out how it feels like after watch this latest movie from the famed Yashraj films.

Cast
Bipasha "I'm a bimbo in this movie" Basu
Uday "what was my role again/ ha ha .. my jaw is broader than your left thigh" Chopra
Ash "stiff ass/ desperate to show my cleavage" Rai
Abhishek "need a shave" Bachchan
Hrithik "the new shirtless hero" Roshan

Genre : Mindless bullshit

Trust me, the movie is loyal to its genre from pretty much the first few scenes. Hrithik Roshan steals the Queen's crown disguised as her... better still Abhishek jumps out from underwater on a water scooter to rescue Uday from a bunch of goons who look no better than a bunch of clowns from Jumbo Circus ( the guys from Jumbo I'm sorry for the disrespect).

There is a intro song for all the cast. Ash's entry is special though it marks a total lack of comic timing and takes hamming to its abyss. Someone should tell her that wearing short skirts, showing cleavage and smooching on-screen will not the movie worth my 135 bucks.

The plot is a a cop-thief chase across two countries (India and Brazil) with some extras (Uday, Bips, oh yeah.. forgot to mention the ever so useless role of Rimii Sen) who are stuffed in to the movie needlessly. Ash, whose role is as predictable as the result of India's next cricket match, is a petty criminal who turns out to be working with the cops. And her misplaced likes ... oh God!!! you could shot her, I'm not kidding.. there would have been blood on my hands if she was in the hall.

If you came looking for style quotient, you'd be looking in the wrong place. Its just a lot of crass .. Abhishek with his shirts with floral designs, Ash with her wannabe Rakhee Sawant dresses and Uday ... he is just anti-establishment ... he is moving in the opposite direction of cool. Hrithik does look cool, I must admit. As Guru rightly put it "you can see midriffs all through the movie ... either Ash's, Bips' or Hrithik's". Bipasha's hotness .. drool ... drool ... has been, I can't think of a better word, vulgarly utilised ... there are sly shots of her breasts everytime the camera is trying to pan the shot.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the press has been bought... 4 stars from TOI, 3 stars from IBN ... utter rubbish ... if you ask me they shouldn't be given stars, instead they should be giving us stuff ... stuff like an AK 47 to each of us poor students, who fel for the promos, and shelled out 135 bucks to watch a story that even kids would not take seriously as a bed time story ...

P.S : why the colon in the title you ask? thats because you'd rather have your colon pulled out and torn in to 2 pieces and etched with the words "You dumfuck ... this is for watching Dhoom : 2" than watching the saddest ever excuse for a movie

Any given Saturday

8.30 a.m : Guys from the two classes assemble at Ram Mandir (near Rajajinagar entrance). Practise some catching and fielding and if the bully in you was having a good day you might even get a chance to bat.

9 a.m : After collecting Re 1 to the local goonda (paid as protection ... I donno why the fuck we paid him ... shyte we were a bunch of scared kids) and another rupee to Nara ( he got the ball and in the process ripped us off)

10 a.m : After much deliberation, it would be decided that the toss would be a best of five. The toss always crucial.. you had to bat first ... you just had to. The fights over the toss were customary almost our equivalent of the Hakka ... it touched you before hitting the ground... you didn't flip the coin well .... the excuses given to re toss ranged from trivial to deranged.

11 a.m : The match finally starts amid much rowdy like yelling and sledging which would put sailors to shame..

1 p.m : The first innings done ... we would move towards the closest Iyengar bakery to suck on an ice lolly (Re 0.50) while discussing how the first innings had gone and the strategy for the next innings would be built ... its not like we stuck to strategies ... but you just had to discuss them ... smart asses that we were

4 p.m : The match done ... celebrations .. more abuses ... lot more abuses ... treat our selves to a sugar cane juice .. and head to Madhur's house, which was a 2 minute walk from Ram Mandir ...

6 p.m : Reach home .. get yelled at by mom ... for wasting another day ...

Those were the days ... they really were .. carefree .. they were the absolute epitome of carefree ... not a bloody fucking care in the world .. just pure unadulterated cricket ... pure fun ... in fact, they were not at all wasted days ... they are days I cherish ... cricket ... friends ... masti .. abusing ... can't ask for a lot more ..

I can't help smiling everytime I pass by Ram Mandir ... it reminds of me a sort of innocence ...even though we saw some quite ugly incidences there .. I once saw a man getting kicked repeatedly there .. I remember cycling back home like crazy that day ... I was shit scared ...

It also reminds me that almost everyday a little bit of my innocence is lost and how someday I will look back on today and think about how "those were the days" ...

The grass is always greener on your side.

Where do we go now ... where do we go ..

Mumbai is one fucked up city man.

Today, we were taking an auto from the airport to Juhu. On the way, this random guy (with a kid) was fighting with another auto guy. Our auto guy tried to break up the fight so the traffic could move. I donno what was exchanged between our auto guy and the guy, but the two landed exchanging abuses. Our auto guy got in and started moving. Suddenly, I saw this guy hanging on to the top rod of the rickshaw hanging with one hand (and the kid in the other) trying to kick our auto guy. The guy lost control fell down with the kid and the auto ran over his leg . Our auto guy just fled. I just remember screaming "paagal hain kya tu" (are you crazy??) when the guy was hanging with one hand and after the whole episode turning back and seeing the guy fallen down on the road and the kid was in tears.

What must have the kid gone through? I still can't get that picture out of my mind... Why did the guy do it?? To satiate his ego??? Revenge?? But why?? And why at the cost of the kid's life??? What the fuck was wrong with the guy??? What the fuck was he thinking?? And why the hell did he risk the kid's life???

Later, that evening I went to classmate's birthday party at a plush louge bar. People drinking, dancing.. tyring to chill out!!!

Which one of this is life??? The one were people have three fucking hundred bucks a drink to blow up on an intoxicant that gets you to the place you want to be OR the people you see in slums that you and me can never imagine living in while on your way from Panvel to Dadar??? Are all of these people trying to figure out life or have they accepted it as it is???

I think we get very used to the suffering we see around us and start giving excuses for it. Thats life isn't it, we say. They deserve it look at the way they behave, is another popular one.

Look deep inside. Is this true?? How can we live with ourselves, when we see people living like this?? There are movie stars in this city, businessmen who can buy half the city just by snapping their fingers.. how can they live with themselves when so many people barely have clothes to wear and food to eat??

I guess I'm just drunk ... in a fit of a rage on what that guy did to the kid and I'm blowing up ... probably tomorrow I'll be one of those fucking phoneys sipping on my scotch in a high end place ... but I hope I never forget today and I hope I remember that life is not what you show but life is what you give and take from others in terms of the intangibles .. in terms of love and happiness. I read in Shantaram that life is an illusion and all we see is not reality and today I understand the statement in totality. I don't want to figure out life ... I want to live it ... but with honesty ... with integrity ... in a manner that on my death bed when my whole life is flashing in front of me I realise that I have made a difference to a few lives in a positive way ... and these dried up tears are vindicated.

Hostel California ... the rebuttal

Its amazing how you are put with some 35 guys pulled out of all different corners of the country, are asked to live together and before you know it you start living like family. You are into each others rooms, spaces and bathrooms (as yucky as that sounds).

People become your friends, your fellow philosophers and your guides. You eat together, drink together (and you do a lot of that) and try hard not to sleep together. You make fun of each others quirks and adjust with each others idiosyncrasies. You party, laugh, smile, cry, crib, fight with those guys and at the end of the day you know that in a new place they are all you have.

During the birthdays it is my self assigned responsibility to pour water on the sad soul who was born on that day and when I look down amidst all that chaos, screaming, running for your life, violence I smile and think to myself for the next one year they are family!

Hostel Theory 1
At any given point, there is atleast one guy who is sleeping in the hostel.

Hostel Theory 2
At any given point, atleast one guy is singing in the hostel.
Corollary
At any given point, you want to punch atleast one guy in the hostel. ;).

Hostel California .. well actually Bombay

Its been 2 months (almost) since I've joined the hostel. Its been a great learning experience so far, and when I say learning, its more in terms of learning about myself (I know thats a lot of gyaan, but thats one of the things b-schools teach you :) ).

The hostel is a wierd environment. The concept of "space" is a mirage. There are people all around you ... sometimes in your face (which can be fucking pissing off), sometimes uninvited into your tiny little world and it can make you feel claustrophobic to the extent of feeling asphyxiated.

On the other hand, you could be amidst 13 people and feel lonely. And trust me its one of the worst feelings. You have so many people around you and still you are looking for that one person who can let you in and make you feel ok.

I have been pampered. I always chose the people around me. I always spoke my mind, and the girls and the guys, took my shit. This "trait" has already got me into the bad books of a couple of guys. I'm not going to change simply because I think this way my life is simpler. But I have to adapt and this is hard, especially when you have been in your comfort zone for so long (thanks to those sweet people who bear with your idiosyncrasies).


P.S : I'm doing ok ... don't read too deep into this :)

These were a few of my favourite things...*

Mom's food
Beer with dad
Fighting for the remote with sis
Coffee/chai with Mim
Jayamahal with the girls
Kinara with the boys
Pecos with the gang
Rainy days in Bangalore
My winter clothes
My bike
Weekends
Lazy Sunday mornings
Sunday afternoon naps
My bathroom
The morning after rains in Bangalore
Ending my sentences with maadi
Coffee breaks at work
Benne dosa and coffee at CTR
Payslips


* in no particular order

I miss Bangalore.

The vada-pav diaries

Its been little more than 10 days in Moombhai now. For the uninformed, I'm in SPJIMR (supposedly it impresses women here ahem... ahem) doing my MBA in systems.

Its my first time in a hostel, first time away from home, first time away from Bangalore, friends and family. My room is quite small (and for Sid.. no it doesn't have wooden flooring). We have an appartment system. Each appartment has 5 rooms attached to it. It even has a washing machine ... fancy eh? My roomie is from Lucknow, we've hardly interacted but he seems promising. The one hour we chatted was about religion and considering he is Muslim it was rather enlightening. We have some really interesting people in our appartment too. We have a Major (yes the army one), who has worked in the army for 7 years and he sings the national anthem while having his bath. I have my issues with it, but don't expect me to pick up a fight with a guy who can operate a gun.

The last ten days have been more about interacting with the seniors. I got ragged.. nothing serious, it was fun actually. We had a lot of presentations to make, we made a b-plan, one about an IT company in India and lodza other stuff. We had lot of quizes too, and apparently I'm the quiz stud in my class... I know its not saying much, nevertheless heartening. The sad part though there are just couple of rock lovers in my class... most of them are Hindi types. My Hindi is improving by the day (I once caught myself thinking in Hindi), esp. my Hindi swears and I'm bloody proud of it.

The course is bloody hectic, sleeping for more than 4 hours is a luxury. But so far, its been good fun. I've been working hard (thats another first) and hope to continue it. And I'm missing most of the football world cup which is a total bummer.

We had our freshers party yesterday and it was a total blast. We danced till 11 (thats another first, I danced without getting drunk for the first time), went back to the hostel drank till 3 (had whiskey ... another first) and then left for the Versova beach. Got back to my room at 6 :D. KICKBUTT!!!

The course so far has been an "out of my comfort zone" experience. In like 12 days, I've already learnt a lot and more importantly I've learnt a lot about myself.

P.S : Thats a snap from our freshers' party. I'm on the far left.

P.P.S: I miss the girls, never thought I would.

Oh my GOD!!!!

You keep seeing these car stickers saying "Jesus will save you", "Jesus heals", etc. Today I saw a really "cool" one saying "Jesus Rules", somehow I wonder such stickers don't come up for Hindu Gods.

A few suggestions from my side
Dhootpaapeshwar will get you down and groovy.
Dattatreya will rock your world.
Vishnu blows your mind away.
Life is a bummer, Ganesha kicks butt.
Nataraj can samba.
Yama keeps me alive.

Disclaimer : Do not intend to hurt anyone's religious sentiments. My apologies in case I did.

4528 hours of not knowing whats happening!!!!

I was just going through my highly unimpressive marks cards from my BE (electronics and communication) and as hep as that sounds I had no clue of more than half of what my subjects were. I probably know as much electronics as I did in my 10th ( thats a huge zilch). The only electronics I work on right now is switching on the television or working the microwave.

There are subjects I can't even explain the titles of let alone what was taught in them. Subjects like Transducers & Instrumentation and Telecommunication & switching I still can't figure out the title let alone what could have possibly been taught for 16 weeks/ 4 hours per week. Then there are the Linear ICs & Applications and Digital ICs & Applications. What is the difference you ask... well, your guess is as good as mine. There are subjects called VHDL and VLSI design, I still don't know what they stand for.

Then there are the more romantic soundings subjects like Fields & Waves, which when the exam paper is presented to you reads more like Killing Fields & Tsunami Waves. Somehow I feel I would have done much better with the latter.

The teachers were no better. There was this subject called Antenna & wave Propogation which was taught by a shrivelled grape called Rukumani (shaadi ke baad kya hua ... (thats the song if you don't remember) you ask ... I'll tell you .. her husband came out shrieking for help). I will not delve any more in the teachers aspect of the course, that could complete a book on why not to do engineering.

There is a feather in my cap though for those four years of trying very hard to not work hard. I got a gold medal. A gold medal??!!! How ??!! I'll tell you for us back benchers (read academic super loosers) a gold medal was when you just managed to scrape through the ignominy of repeating the subject the next semester. Yes, I got myself one of those in System Programming - 35/100 ... couldn't get closer than that... Phew!!!. I got myself a bronze too.. 52/125 in Power Electronics .. not too proud of that could have done better.

Finally my advice to people who are taking Engineering ... well don't do it.

Been dazed and confused for so long, it's not true... Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.

> For those of you bored, lost, confused, frustrated (feel free to add on to the list) souls, the Prophet's message hath arrived. Check out this link-- What should I do with my life?

A few excerpts from the article

The previous era of business was defined by the question, Where's the opportunity? I'm convinced that business success in the future starts with the question, What should I do with my life? Yes, that's right. The most obvious and universal question on our plates as human beings is the most urgent and pragmatic approach to sustainable success in our organizations.

Well, there is hope now, isn't it??? woo hoo to that!!!!

Those who are lit by that passion are the object of envy among their peers and the subject of intense curiosity. They are the source of good ideas. They make the extra effort. They demonstrate the commitment. They are the ones who, day by day, will rescue this drifting ship. And they will be rewarded. With money, sure, and responsibility, undoubtedly. But with something even better too: the kind of satisfaction that comes with knowing your place in the world. We are sitting on a huge potential boom in productivity -- if we could just get the square pegs out of the round holes.

I feel ya brotha!!!

Anyway, if you are lost at your workplace, I think the article should be read in its entirety. Its super long but I think its worth the time.

> Have been meeting lots of school friends lately. And everyone seems to have only one question for me "So ... when are you going to get married???" with a stupid bloody grin on their face ..... the next person who asks me that question is going to need some serious cosmetic surgery to make their face look human again ..... aaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh!!! For crying out loud, I'm just 23. I know Mim and me have been together for the last 6 odd years.... but guys please stop asking me that question. You will get a mail... I will let you know somehow, anyhow... I appreciate your concern but just quit it buddy.

Current music : Blue Train - John Coltrane .... abso- diddly-lutely love the song.

Sarva Dharma Samabhava

Freedom at Midnight by Larry Collins and Dominique Lapierre was a life altering book for me. It speaks about the partition of India and the ensuing Hindu-Muslim riots which left millions dead, homeless. I had a new found respect for the Muslims who stayed back in India braving the riots, risking their lives.

Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen was another book I really enjoyed. The basic premise of the first few essays is how the Indian, over the years, has been accomadating the people who visited India through the years be it Portugese, Persian, Chinese, etc and how this feeling is being tampered with by the VHP and Bajrang Dal like organisations who want to make India a Hindu state. He also talks about how the average Indian has always been argumentative which laid the foundation for the Indian democracy after independence.

These two books have made me very conscious of who I am as an Indian, about our diversity and our history. It has made me immensely proud of this country. I love the diversity and our(normally) peaceful nature.

The current book I am reading is called Communal Rage in Secular India by Rafiq Zakaria, (whose The Man who divided India -about Jinnah, I thoroughly enjoyed) is about the Godhra riots. I have just finished the first 2 chapters in which he details accounts of journalists and their witnesses during the riots. Its gut-wrenching to say the least. Some of the victims' accounts are horrifying and you can't help closing your eyes and saying a little prayer for them.

India is a largely peaceful nation, or so I would like to believe, considering the large amount of diversities that exist here. Sometimes, we fail to respect this. We have divided ourselves, according to caste, religion, region or any shitty reason we could give ourselves. Once these divisions are made we love to draw lines and act George-Bushesquely "you are with us or against us". Hindus hate Muslims, Muslims despise Hindus and there is always a rift between people on either side of the Vindhyas.

Another thing Indians seem to enjoy is typecasting people. Brahmins are elitists, Muslims are violent, Tamilians are tight-fisted, Delhites are show-offs, Bongs have egos. We like to castigate all the other communities except ours. We can't stand anyone else except ourselves and our types. A Hindu will think twice before befriending a Muslim but somehow when an Irfan Pathan takes a wicket the whole country celebrates, when Shahrukh Khan is in a movie people throng the theatres to watch him. Are these two guys beyond judgement and their religion? Why is that? Is it because they are famous? Does that change a person? Or is it just that he grows out of his stereotypes once he is famous?

What worries me the most is that we, the educated class, also have such notions. I think being unbiased in next to impossible, but I think it is possible to free of prejudice. Thanks to these few books I have gotten rid a lot of my demons and pre-concieved notions. I am not saying I'm totally unprejudiced, but I know I'm trying.

Hold me, kiss me, thrill me

First of all, a super new year to all of you. I had a super new years' ... spent it in Hyderabad. Thanks to Nitish " the perfect host " Khadiya ( I hope I got the spelling right) we had a super- duper time.

After all the long sessions of drinking and the intense leg-cricket matches, all of us sat down to watch the movie Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi. What a brilliant movie.

There are lot underlying themes and ideas running throughout the plot but the one that hit me the most were the love stories in the movie. Geeta loves Siddarth, who is a revolutionary, and wants Geeta to become one too. Siddarth leaves for the villages to propogate the revolution and ideas. Vikram is a small town guy who just wants to make it big and loves Geeta too. Geeta eventually follows Siddarth and falls into a lot of shit in the village and but continues to love him, instead of taking the easier option out and just marrying Vikram who loves her as much.

This is where my point comes in, is love really this blind that you get so selfless and are willing to forgive anything your partner does. Even in the Unbearable lightness of being by Milan Kundera, Teresa could have easily left Tomas for all his unfaithfulness but she hung on. These kind of stories are not just in fiction even in life I've seen lots of couples just ignore their partners' outright flaws and just going on .

I would never expect my partner to forgive my unfaithfulness, or give up her life and tag along with me because I believe in something or if I ever were to humiliate her or do anything that were to hurt her very bad. Is love really blind?? So blind that we are able to overlook things that we would normally find detestable. So if common sense were to prevail then, love should not be blind. It should be open to each others faults, to correct each other and also so that your partner doesn't land up taking advantage of your ignorance or "blindness" and to preserve one's own self worth. But common sense doesn't have a place in the land of love... if it did we would not have Romeo and Juliet would we???

I am confused (I know I sound it). I guess there is a thin line between being loving and forgiving and being used as a door mat. But I guess like other things in life, nobody knows where the line is... nobody knows when to stop... nobody knows when to stop feeling insecure or begging for the attention we love from our partners.

Love is to be felt and experienced. Everyone wants to be loved, I think that is one of man's biggest weaknesses, whether we want to admit or not. And everyone loves to be loved. I guess its best to just try and explore for oneself and remember that there does exist a line in love, too, that is not to be crossed, a line that keeps love nice and simple the way its meant to be.