Dhoom : 2 (Read Dhoom colon 2)

Imagine the most mindless piece of crap you have ever heard or seen ... triple that and you will approximately figure out how it feels like after watch this latest movie from the famed Yashraj films.

Cast
Bipasha "I'm a bimbo in this movie" Basu
Uday "what was my role again/ ha ha .. my jaw is broader than your left thigh" Chopra
Ash "stiff ass/ desperate to show my cleavage" Rai
Abhishek "need a shave" Bachchan
Hrithik "the new shirtless hero" Roshan

Genre : Mindless bullshit

Trust me, the movie is loyal to its genre from pretty much the first few scenes. Hrithik Roshan steals the Queen's crown disguised as her... better still Abhishek jumps out from underwater on a water scooter to rescue Uday from a bunch of goons who look no better than a bunch of clowns from Jumbo Circus ( the guys from Jumbo I'm sorry for the disrespect).

There is a intro song for all the cast. Ash's entry is special though it marks a total lack of comic timing and takes hamming to its abyss. Someone should tell her that wearing short skirts, showing cleavage and smooching on-screen will not the movie worth my 135 bucks.

The plot is a a cop-thief chase across two countries (India and Brazil) with some extras (Uday, Bips, oh yeah.. forgot to mention the ever so useless role of Rimii Sen) who are stuffed in to the movie needlessly. Ash, whose role is as predictable as the result of India's next cricket match, is a petty criminal who turns out to be working with the cops. And her misplaced likes ... oh God!!! you could shot her, I'm not kidding.. there would have been blood on my hands if she was in the hall.

If you came looking for style quotient, you'd be looking in the wrong place. Its just a lot of crass .. Abhishek with his shirts with floral designs, Ash with her wannabe Rakhee Sawant dresses and Uday ... he is just anti-establishment ... he is moving in the opposite direction of cool. Hrithik does look cool, I must admit. As Guru rightly put it "you can see midriffs all through the movie ... either Ash's, Bips' or Hrithik's". Bipasha's hotness .. drool ... drool ... has been, I can't think of a better word, vulgarly utilised ... there are sly shots of her breasts everytime the camera is trying to pan the shot.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the press has been bought... 4 stars from TOI, 3 stars from IBN ... utter rubbish ... if you ask me they shouldn't be given stars, instead they should be giving us stuff ... stuff like an AK 47 to each of us poor students, who fel for the promos, and shelled out 135 bucks to watch a story that even kids would not take seriously as a bed time story ...

P.S : why the colon in the title you ask? thats because you'd rather have your colon pulled out and torn in to 2 pieces and etched with the words "You dumfuck ... this is for watching Dhoom : 2" than watching the saddest ever excuse for a movie